Wiki... I'm with you. I like my current T, a female. She is very nice, warm even but not gushy in any way which is good, she's just a little older than me, so no motherly feelings towards her. But I don't talk about the past with her... I've talked about talking about the past with xT with her (confusing sentence) and being confused by his reactions. I've talked about how the past has influenced me today but I do not tell her things that have happened. She has helped a lot... that damn feelings chart has actually worked some... Her persona is detached but there...(although something I said once about my marriage made her tear up...but she kept it under control and I didn't say anything)

But with xT... his persona is warm, caring and concerned... its easier to tell him in a way how I feel and what happened in the past... but of course with him then I get pissed at myself for letting him in..."do not ever become dependent on a man" the mantra I heard from my mother all of my life.... and alarms go off and I get defensive...run for the hills and then spend 2 or 3 months getting back to the place where I let him back in and that is if I didn't quit after telling him something... 18 months of that... I can't believe he would let me come in to talk... Not sure it would be different now although I do feel like I'm in a different place...

I want things for me... I know what I want to accomplish