today I had shower but last night I was feeling worthless, hopeless,and all alone I called the crisis line hoping to get a good result it was that icky guy on their that I didn't like that respond. I had to just deal with it and get over his lackluster approaches he usually has.this time he was less lackluster but still wanted to know if I was SI to kill myself or Cope I said cope...kinda hard to kill yourself with just cutting personally unless you went for the artery in your neck or your hips area. Anyway we talked some and when I got off the phone I SI myself again by accident.I took my meds and went to sleep....

today after having a shower I finished packing my bag I am going to see my parents and sister for the weekend.

I feel excited but at the same time anxious and worried,....