This is kind of hard to explain, but here goes. I have not had much luck with past relationships, the women I meet either reject me for seemingly random reasons, or they turn out to be crazy. I've had a lot of disappointments and heartbreaks in my life. I recently met a girl who I like very much and she likes me. We've been dating for 3 months now but in the last few weeks, there has been a steady decline in the quality of our relationship. Here's the kicker though, it's not her fault. I am finding myself trying to self-sabotage things for no reason. I have made myself incredibly stressed out and most of my thoughts have turned into unrealistic paranoia and negativity. I realize this is happening before my very eyes and I feel helpless to stop it. Everyday I get angrier and more self-righteous, pointing out and exacerbating her every flaw. She doesnt know any of this is happening, I am working very hard to keep all of it from coming to light until I can find a therapist, but I don't know how much longer I can take this stress, anxiety, and paranoia. I don't want to lose her due to my own shortcomings. I need help, and fast, before this all falls apart.