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Jun 01, 2013, 03:28 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
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I agree with the above post. The thing is, the 'symptoms' (for lack of a better word) of having been through trauma are many of the same as for so many other things. I actually take issue sometimes with things I have read that seem to indicate that if you are/have x,y,z you must have been abused, because I think it encourages too much certainty (in the absence of memory) when it would be more helpful to keep an open mind. Everyone's different, so one person may be experiencing certain things, suffering in particular ways, largely or partly as a result of a trauma, whereas another person may be experiencing similar things, but for different reasons/with different origins. Regardless, I tend to think there are a multiplicity of factors that make us who we are today.
I'm sorry you're fearing that your therapist won't want to work with you because you don't remember some things from your childhood, and/or you don't remember trauma. But I think it would be very uncommon for a therapist to think this way. I think they take into account the totality of your life and experiences (of what you do remember) and aren't so concerned about the origins, especially if they are not clearly remembered.
I don't think you necessarily need to talk about the past a great deal in order to progress in therapy, and especially in order for your therapist to feel you're progressing in therapy (you seem to be worried you don't have enough to talk about) -it really depends on the person. Whatever you feel you need to work on, that's what you need to work on. I think anxiety, depression and other things can improve with therapy without pinpointing an exact origin.
Maybe if you start letting go of finding the origins, it will free you up to work on what you do know, and what is distressing you right now. I'd imagine that worrying about what may or may not have happened may be very anxiety-inducing, and then not finding it, may make you feel frustrated and/or badly about yourself.
Have you talked to your therapist about this? What has she said about it? If you're feeling stuck, I'd talk to her about this and ways you can move forward in a way that's helpful for you. Best of luck 
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