I remember when I felt this way. It was about all I could say, "You just don't understand," or, "Nobody understands how I feel." I believed it was true then and I believe it is still true if a person has not been where you are. I wish I had known that they would help me anyway. And there will forever be thousands of people who know exactly how you're feeling, or some close version of it. Numb, anxious, "foggy," not caring, exhausted, annoyed, angry, sleepy, SCARED and in PAIN... I wish I had known to seek acceptance before requiring that everyone who wanted to help me "understood." Love is greater than knowledge in my experience but if you feel the other way...we have a much greater understanding of depression now than we ever have in the past. It's important to remember a time when you were not depressed, or less depressed, a good memory and to know that you can feel that way again regardless of the people or circumstances that may have changed and that there is very real help for you. Please seek the truth. I believe you will find it well worth your while. If possible, practicing gratitude, just being thankful for one thing at a time is also helpful. I have a beautiful life now. I am an artist, I have a good job, I help people everyday, have a loving family, am married, and feel joy (though I still fight for it - it gets WAY easier). People tried to tell me that I would (have a wonderful life) one day but that didn't FEEL soon enough. It's important to challenge our emotions. They are not the truth. They are valid and need an outlet but they are not the truth. I am glad to see you on here. You are brave and wise in being vulnerable and HONEST. I am sorry for your pain, truly. I remember all too well. I have hope for your complete recovery and healing. It is well worth it. This is my first time sharing...please be gentle with me. All is NOT lost...it only SEEMS that way. Lean on those who "don't understand," call the hotlines, go to the hospital or a program or a group, keep posting, talking if you can, searching for (real) answers, trusting those who know or who have been there, good doctors, good counselors, (ones with whom you can connect), taking medication if needed, (I certainly did - with constant support) and trying all the "silly" things that "might" WORK... it's worth it.