What you wrote above and what you say under your crow picture about not being sure why you're here, I think they're linked. You don't have to leave microbiology and research sz to have a purpose. I think that I can use my experience to help others, and I've chosen to try and do that through a career in psychology, but that's not the only way, and may not even happen for me. The likelihood of me becoming a clinical psychologist are incredibly slim: it's ridiculously competitive and then I have these issues on top that make it hard for me to study or work full time at the moment, and the doctorate is full time study and work for three years with no part-time option.

What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to change jobs to have a purpose. There is no 'right' way of seeing psychosis or learning from it. Maybe your purpose can be helping people here on PC? You gave me really useful information about CBT for psychosis that I really appreciated. Maybe your purpose is in understanding your experience and being open minded when you meet others with MI in society? Maybe it's to challenge you that there are other perspectives out there other than science?

Personally I think there is something to learn from our experiences, but maybe that's because I don't want to think of myself or others suffering needlessly? I think you will find peace with this, but maybe don't just limit yourself to pubmed. I stuck with psychiatry for a very long time, and it's only recently that I've started to branch out, and I think that's where my recovery will be found, and hopefully then I can use this journey to help others along their way. Just posting on PC that you had psychosis and have recovered gives the rest of us hope that we will get there too one day. Don't underestimate the importance of your presence here!

*Willow*