Hey couch peeps....just wanted to check in to let you know I'm still alive....

Struggling with group T crud at the moment. I wish the closure process wasn't so dang painful. The people I'm close to want me to figure out how to find a way to work through the intense discomfort I feel so that I can stay. The people that I'm not close to are like "buh-bye" and one particular person is like "don't let the door hit you, I'm glad you'll be out of my way so I can go back to making it all about MEEEEE".

Of course, I'm paraphrasing and mixing in my own twisted perceptions into it. I wish I knew for sure whether or not this was the best decision for me. I was so sure of it when I made the decision....now? Not so sure.

I really should've discussed it with T before making my decision. T said that I seemed to want to make that decision on my own without his help. I told him that it's difficult for me to discuss it with him because he seems so adamant and rigid when it comes to defending a position he feels strongly about, which leaves me feeling defeated and invalidated. Ultimately, it affects the way he acts towards me, and then I feel cautious and guarded.

Anyhoo....I hope everyone is doing ok. I'm going to try to catch up on the couch soon. My daughter has her BFF over for a sleepover again - and we'll be going to the pool tomorrow. God help me. LOL.