Hi again! I'm a 15 year old girl, and I have a LOT of self-esteem problems. I tend to set very high and unrealistic standards for myself and I'm really hard on myself when I don't meet these expectations. I'm aware that is an issue, but it's not why I'm here. Because I refuse to give myself any credit for anything ever, (i even know what i'm doing to myself is wrong, but i just can't stop) I tend to... imagine other people (generally people that i admire or want the respect of) saying good things about me while I'm not around. Like, I'll imagine people like "oh she's really hard on herself but she doesn't need to be, she's really great at..." and so on. I have daydreams about other people complimenting me behind my back.
I think that's weird and a bit alarming. Does anyone know if this is normal? Is it a sign of any sort of mental illness, or should I not be worried at all? If anyone is good at psychoanalyzing, could you tell me why I do this? I'm just worried and curious.
Thanks!