Hello I hope you are doing better. I agree with SUZY. Drinking causes depression, and makes things look worse tha they really are sometimes. Have you thought about going to AA meetings? I have the hotline number for alcoholism in the posts but the number you can call is1-800-331-2900 for alcoholism and 1-800-273-TALK for mental health issues. NAMI and DBSA offer groups as well. A good support system is necessary to be productive in alcoholism. The first step is wanting to get help and following through with geting help, and finding something that keeps your time more productive and more positive.
Take care wishing you the best Soidhonia