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we should not assume that we know what the other person is trying to say (express, no matter how poorly it may have been presented),

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THIS may be your problem in a nutshell. How is anyone to take the written word at face value EXCEPT how it was presented?

Many times, we're not aware just how much of our emotions or confusion comes through in our daily speech. I know that I had to relearn how to communitcate more clearly and less emotionally if I was wanting to make a point or have someone clearly understand a question I was asking. I even had to learn how to answer the phone differently! People didn't want to call me anymore because I was grunting and sighing when I answered. I didn't sound happy to be getting a call. I wasn't even aware of it until I listened to an outgoing message I recorded! EEESH!

A friend and I were communicating by email quite a bit while she was living out of town. She told me that although I had a sense of humor about it, all I did was complain.

We really do need to think (and reread) twice, sometimes more, when we speak but especially when we write our communications since in writing, we don't have the advantage of people hearing our inflections or seeing the expression on our face.

Each of us is responsible for the words we speak and how we speak them. We can't expect others, much less give THEM the responsibility of interpreting those words like WE meant them. I don't have the good fortune of having a mind reader amongst the people I communicate with. None of us do, I don't think!