It's good that you came here and posted. You're right that we really understand what you are feeling and how hard it is to cope. It's so disappointing when you try to reach out and no one holds on to you. Problem is that in our society depression is something to keep hidden so anyone opening up about it is making people look at what they don't want to see. Plus they really cannot understand what you are saying. It's like trying to see blue when someone is blind. You can describe it all day long and they still won't know what you are talking about.
It takes courage to reach out and you've done that.
Even if you can't afford professional treatment you can call the hotlines available and just talk to the people trained to listen. I believe there is a good list of these numbers in the top of the depression forum. Lots of 800 numbers.
Try that and of course post here. We will listen. We care