Hello, Bronze Owl, and welcome back.

Yes, you are in a depressive state and need help. If you can't afford a psychiatrist who
will medicate you until you regain your sleep schedule and begin to feel somewhat better,
I would suggest that you try to alter your diet, use the "lemon thing" I have suggested
on this same page called "The Lemon Thing And Why It Works for Some of us". It
might provide some relief for you and give you a night of restful sleep.

Buy some meditative reading to try to cast off dark images that you have in your mind.
Read, read, read about uplifting things and even (if you are a spiritual person) read
the works of writers who talk about positive thinking based on scripture (works such
as Emmet Fox's "Around the Year With Emmet Fox"), another meditative paperback.

Then, look at your diet. If you drink coffee or tea containing caffeine, use chocolate or eat a lot of wheat products please stop the use of them temporarily until you get your good
feeling tone back. You will no doubt have headaches with those changes, but take
an aspirin to relieve the worst of them, at least during the first days of releasing those
chemicals from your system.

Instead of grains, add brown rice. Instead of cheese, milk, and red meat, eat lots
of salads with fresh vegetables, drink purified water, and cut back on red meat, eating
more fish. Add an essential Omega 3 fatty acids to your diet (research has proven it to be beneficial in healing in depression).

Your dog has keen insight into your physical condition, just by his sense of smell. Take
the hint he's trying to convey to you. Change your food ingestion for better feeling tone.

Try to prevent yourself from looking at any images that bring on distressing thoughts
and avoid any strongly negative conversations on t.v. In fact, please turn off your t.v.
the moment you see things that are distressing.

Picture a broom in your mind just sweeping all the debris (dust, negativity, hurt, and
distress) from your mind. Keep sweeping until you feel clean and free inside. Get outside into the sun and soak it in. When the negativity tries to seep back in later
in the day, stop. Sit down and go back to your reading of uplifting and positive literature.

If you can afford one visit to your personal physician for a prescription for a helpful
tranquilizer I would try that, at least until you can afford to see a psychiatrist for
diagnosis and treatment.

There are answers for you out there, and all you have to do is to act on something
that appeals to you as a way to recover.

We're here to listen and to try to help. Please feel that you are loved and valued,
because you are by all here.

Keep in touch and let us know how you progress. Getting that sleep schedule adjusted
is of primary importance, in my view. It is the real healer for us all in many ways.