Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandrec
Frequently, during periods in which I'm not feeling so well, I forget to take my meds for many days at a time. I have forgotten the meds almost every day for a week now. It's not the end of my psyche, as I was on a relatively low dose (5 mg Zyprexa), but it does make me unbalanced and I'm feeling hypomanic-y and agitated, which is also business as usual. So naturally I'm wondering "will this bad habit screw up my brain even more?". And I'm back to the "I'm not sure I need my meds, in fact I think I'm much better off without them". Actions & consequences. What I can't figure out though is where to go from now. Yes, my meds help me, etc., but I don't want brain damage and I don't want withdrawals, and I'm not yet ready for the giant project which is finding a new psychiatrist who is willing and able to see me. I don't need someone to tell me to take my meds, I need someone to tell me why the heck I can't learn a simple routine and whether this inability of mine to learn simple things could eventually damage the grey thinking mush.  |
After over 20 years of doing the same thing I can tell you that you are only playing with fire. If you have had the opportunity to read any books on bipolar they are adamant that people can go up to years without evidence of swings from manic, hypo-manic or depression. I can tell you from experience that what you think you may be experiencing can change before you are aware of it and you are in trouble with either the law, family, or losing a job or all three. You don't mention your age so I'm not sure of your situation. I just know that I personally I have many regrets. When I felt my best is when I got in the most trouble. I can only speak for myself. I probably wouldn't be responding if I just didn't go through this in early May when I started drinking vodka, something that I had done before without trouble and within 2 hours if not for my girlfriend, police and paramedics I would not be here. I spent 5 days inpatient, started on different medication and am stable again. I did it the hard way. I knew, knew, knew that I needed my meds adjusted weeks before and didn't go. It's just not worth anymore for me. I have 3 daughters and 3 grand children. I can't do this to them or myself any more. Trust that doctors and researchers are looking for newer medications with less side effects. Find a good support group. Find a friend or family member you can trust and confide in them. What ever you do. Stay with you meds. I know it sucks. For me it's just not worth the risk. I'm 54 y/o. don't make the same mistakes I did. BOL
