Not sure why but I feel very alone at this point in life
I wrote a poem about it and posted it in the creative corner
i have been looking at PC but have not even had the energy or words to connect with others in months
the last session with T was almost all silence
it is very odd because I feel like things are just ending all around for some reason. Stuff with work has changed so much so fast. I am still working, but I do not care anymore at all about it. I am getting off track with finances. I am hating the time I spend with friends. I dispise talking to my family (even the people I once loved).
T said it did not feel like depression. And I agree. It does not feel sad. It feels deeper than that... at a place where there are no words.
If he actually knew what really was going on in my head, I am afraid he would have me locked up for sure. But I honestly do not have the energy or desire to take any action on thoughts. I feel like if I did have any energy, maybe I could find my way back to the place where tears are.
But I don't want that.
That is the thing... I don't want anything now at all.
I am not even sure why I am writing this except I think it is my mind making an SOS signal to the world. But why? I suppose the mind knows the facts about the heart.

Maybe all this will pass. Or maybe something else will finally set me free.