Good evening.. I spent most of my Sunday evening cleaning. Not fun, but necessary. We are having my daugther's 5th b-day party here on Saturday, so.. WE WILL KEEP THIS HOUSE CLEAN! LOL! It feels good to be sitting in my bedroom with less clutter though!

This week I finally go back to my Friday T time.. Thankful to have it back, but I want to talk to him now! Last session, I think we both walked away just a wee bit frustrated. It seems that I have a hard time letting go of these standards I have built for myself. Apparentley they are too high.. Apparentley I think too badly of my self (which I agree). But for some darn reason I can't give up these thoughts about myself, or the standards that I have set. I was reading through my journal I kept the first 6 months of therapy.. I was dealing with the same crap then as well. Here I am 1 1/2 later! That is soooo discouraging. However, I have made some progress as far as opening up to my t about the rape.. We can talk about it in detail now. I told him there were more incidences.. We haven't talked about yet, but we will get there. I guess, I am trying to tell myself.. even though I see little progress on one thing, I am making progress on the other. Although, I have yet to connect my emotions to the experience itself. We are working on that part right now!!!