Hi Confused,

Sexual abuse can take many forms. It doesn't need to be repeated, a single incident can definitely be abuse. It can take place with or without removal of clothes.

Whether oral sex is considered rape or not can depend on who you talk to or where you are in the world, but whatever it's called it's wrong and serious to do this to/with a child or at any age without consent.

Personally, I considered myself a virgin until I chose to engage in sex with a partner of my choice. I don't consider rape or any other form of sexual abuse to be sex, so for me it doesn't count.

I am struggling right now with the realisation that there were times I went along with my abuser. However, as a child you don't understand what is happening and can't consent, plus you are taught to do as adults - particularly those you trust - tell you too. So going along with it wouldn't make you (or anyone) responsible for it. It wouldn't mean you asked for it, deserved it or invited it. It would still very much be abuse.

Sexual abuse - particularly of children - covers a wide range of things. It doesn't need to involve touch even.

It's horrible not knowing exactly what happened to you, I can sympathise. Many of my memories are very clear but others are less so. Please understand though that whatever did happen to you - it wasn't your fault in any way at all. The only person responsible was the person who abused you.

Milli

x