I'm very, very reluctant about talking about this at all, but I need to get this off my chest and I have no one else to talk to about this sort of stuff...

So here's the story. I'm female, 21, and I've never been kissed. At some point in my life, it occurred to me that I may be a lesbian. Coming from a christian family I locked that deep down. That was when I was about 13 or so. Now, at an older age, I support LGBT fully - I wear the NOH8 tags everywhere I go. I still never really thought about it for myself, though. A part of me was still locked down.

Now, here's the thing. When I was 15, a guy basically bullied me into saying I'll go out with him, and felt up my leg. At 19 something similar happened again but that time the guy went as far to say he'd knock on every door until he found my address. Nothing happened from it, but hearing it was still scary enough.

I wondered if I didn't like guys because of those experiences. I can't imagine kissing a guy, or hugging them, or sleeping with them, or dating them, let alone getting married. But I never considered anything else...until I stated to have this dreams of myself with other women.

Now, a bit about me - I'm the least girly person I know. I wear mens jeans, I have a few men's t-shirts, I like sport and hate makeup and dresses and anything with the colour pink in it with a passion. My hair is very short, as are my nails. This is so very different from everyone else I know, which makes me feel very much alone.

Additionally, there's this...friend of mine. A female, who is older than me. I've known her for a while but we've only been really talking in the last few months. But the thing is...I think I like her. As in, more than just friends. My heart goes fast when I get a message from her, she makes me happy (which is somewhat rare for me) and I find being around her so easy. I've kind of felt attracted to other women before - liking the way they look, etc - but this...this is different.

So I guess what I'm asking here is...what is this? Does this mean I am indeed as lesbian? Or is this all normal? I have no idea and it's been making me quite anxious.