I too am one that is not good with sticking to a medication routine. I hate being on mood stabilizers and anti-psychotic medication. I feel it makes me depressed and empty. I will only take them when I am going into a manic phase. I go off all medications all the time because I feel they don't help me. This last time though I realized that the antidepressant I was taking was helping and when I went off of it all hell broke loose. So I went back on it a couple weeks later and I just stay on a antidepressant. I can relate to him when he says he doesn't want to be medicated. That feeling that the mood stabilizers and anti psychotic meds give you is a terrible feeling of emptiness with no emotions and I cant take it either. Fortunately my husband researched my mental illness and is trying to understand. He can see how the drugs they want me to take drain the life out of me, so we agree I will only be on them if I come into another manic episode.