I have been depressed since high school, but was put off getting help due to a bad experience with a depression helpline. Eventually I had to drop out of university and leave my job in New Zealand, as I couldn't take the pressure. I tried looking for another job, but I was too depressed and soon ran out of savings.

Living with family in Maryland now, who helped me move to the US as I could no longer cope. Bit while they are away on holiday I have got quite more depressed than usual, and had suicidal thoughts again.

I got diagnosed last year in New Zealand with clinical depression, they provided me Prozac but it only helped for a short time, as the side effects eventually became a problem.

As for counseling I haven't had any, and have visited a psychologist only once while living in New Zealand. I have Kaiser insurance through family, but I don't want to either blow the bank, or get sucked into a treatment that doesn't work. I feel that talking to someone might help, but talking to family is difficult - and just upsets them and me.