She hadn't shown up for a few days... before today. That nagging voice in my head that tells me I'm a raging embarrassment and a miserable failure. She's such an angry an insistent thing... it's hard to not believe her.

I have no friends really... my family deserves far better... sometimes I go so far as to think they would just do better to be done with me. One way or another.

The logical side of my brain tries to tell me this isn't true but that menacing voice just keeps punching logic in the face. Erm... metaphorically speaking.

Early bedtime I think... what the **** is the point anymore.