I am so depressed, all i want to do is sleep. But I have been more depressed in the past. I am not crying for hours a day every day. I am not actively praying for death, not contemplating suicide daily, not so depressed I cannot move. I have been that bad in the past. For me, that is the worst. Some of that had to do with where I used to live. I did not feel safe there. I do not leave my house because the outside world is too dangerous. But at least I feel relatively safe in my house. If I hear a noise, I will wonder if that is someone coming to harm me, but when things are "normal" where I live, I feel safe enough. The depression is getting harder and harder to fight. It is getting worse. I pray it does not get as bad as it once was.

On the other hand, now, to go with the depression, I have anxiety each and every day. Yippee! Even when NOTHING is happening, I find myself grinding my teeth or scratching my skin up with my fingernails. I cannot seem to stop worrying about finances, life, food, family, relationships, the past, the present, the future, the dogs, my eternal destiny, others ... the list goes on.

I do get short of breath sometimes with this stuff, but I have only had the debilitating chest pain twice. The odd thing about the chest pain is that both of those times I was no particularly anxious at onset. So, I question if that was indeed anxiety related. Even so, the point is that my anxiety is NOT as bad as some peoples. Definitely not as bad as it can get. And if I use the mindfulness exercises I can get the anxiety back to baseline. The problem with that is that baseline is not comfortable. I need to figure out how to lower my baseline anxiety. That is not happening, even with DBT. Any suggestions?

OK, so I know from experience that my depression can get much worse. I know from listening to others that anxiety can get worse. Anxiety is a relatively new companion for me. I have had situational anxiety for a long time, but to have anxiety just because I am breathing is new. It is always there to one extent or another. So is the depression. How can someone be simualtaneously anxious and depressed? It does not make sense to me. And does this mean that I am now bi-polar?

Those of you who are bi-polar and those with experience with anxiety and depression, please help.

Also, any folks who want to share an opinion about which is worse, anxiety or depression, that is VERY welcomed. Please also state why you feel the way you do about the issues.

Thank you all. I have not been very vocal of late, because I do not like to spread my funk. There is enough sadness, cynicism and pain in the world without me adding to it. I have tried to explain what I am going through in a factual manor without my darkness added to the language. My apologies if I did not succeed.