the only thing that is preventing me from getting what i want in life... and just dropping everything to go and get it... is this emotional, psychological, and physiological bondage i have with my illness... if i leave i can't pay for my meds and i will have withdrawals and rot somewhere on the streets, if i stay i have to sit for my diploma then get a degree... which i know is a waste of time for someone like me... i don't need a stupid diploma or degree i just need to get my life in order... and as off right now i can't pay for my medications since i'm not working... and if i work... my parents will abandon me at 24 years of age and i'll also have withdrawals...

so what do i do? sit for my diploma... and degree till i can escape this madhouse of which is occupied by a unit of people who are supposedly my family, of which i don't think they are... delusion wise... and also emotionally...

so what am i? confused, ungrateful, psychotic, selfish, or just plain right?