I'm sorry you and your T are having difficulties again, Peaches. My T never used to bring up my seeing someone else, but it has happened in the last year or so. Like you, it's when I seem angry and frustrated with her. At those times, I want her to be MORE nurturing and attentive, not LESS, but instead, she says something like "if I'm not helping you, you know you can see someone else". I don't want to see someone else. I want HER to help me. So, I understand the feelings you're going through.

I don't think you should suppress your "angry parts". Since you do IFS, I think it would be a good idea to work more with them. Maybe more about your anger towards your T, and see where that leads you, even if you've done that already.

Ts aren't perfect. They can get frustrated with us, especially if they're working with us long-term. Mine told me recently that I'm challenging and I didn't like that. I want her to know what to "do with me" and it's triggering when she implies that she doesn't have all the answers.

I don't think it's helpful for you to guess what your T is thinking and feeling about you and your therapy. It's better to ask her directly, and I know you know that! She cares deeply about you, and wants what is best for you. I know you and I want more from our Ts than they can give us, and that's a huge part of the problem. I keep telling myself over and over that I have to radically accept the reality of the therapeutic relationship, but it's hard! I know we can do it, though!!