I thought a lot about this last night while I was laying in bed... and then came to some conclusions while driving into work...

that I really need to actually start by talking about fear itself... The definition is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; I have a lot of fear... I really need to understand what the perceived danger, evil, pain, etc is that I feel is going to happen... I say perceived because its most likely not real... but it feels very real... I need to understand the source of it because its leaving me frozen, stuck...unable to do things I once could do when I had all of my defense mechanisms functioning at full force...