I think that the other, more accurate interpretation of what your T "meant" when she said you could look for other therapists is a reminder that you are not trapped in therapy with her. You don't have to see her, you are free to find someone who won't keep hurting you-- which is how it might feel to be on the other end of those words.

Can you not imagine how it might feel to be the person on the other end of your words? I think that you are illustrating your own insensitivity in this scenario. It feels to me like one of the two following scenarios:

1. My friend and I have a standing lunch date every Thursday at a restaurant we agreed upon, that we both say we love. One week, my friend vocalizes her dissatisfaction with the food and the service to me. I'm really fine with the service and was happy with my meal. I ask her if we should switch restaurants next week. No, she says, let's meet here again. I want to respond to my friend's unhappiness with a "fix".

2. I used to teach undergraduates at a college, a course related to legal issues and social science. The first day of class, I handed out the syllabus, which listed the work students would have to complete, along with the topics for each week of class. About 8 weeks into the semester, a student came up to me and said that he was unhappy that we "kept studying women's issues." I explained, showing him the topic schedule that I'd given out, that there were issues unique to women in law, such as reproductive freedom and some forms of victimization, but that these issues were just some of many topics in this area. I didn't apologize for doing my job and I might have said that I was sorry he was disappointed. I suggested he explore other classes that might not disappoint him.

I think that pbutton hit it exactly on the head, that your email to her sounds just like you're telling her what she feels. And although I think her response to you is strongly worded, it is straightforward (rather than what yours feels like, which is indirect, to quote from pbutton again). What you might consider is that your expression of feelings is not a problem per se, but rather, if you are expressing your feelings by telling others what they think and feel, you're going to piss not only your T off, but everyone else. Perhaps it would be useful to you to take a look at HOW you are expressing your feelings and distinguishing the how from the what.