Well, the story is rather banal.. me and my partner went off sex.. to our surprise it's been over half a year, and we haven't even realised.
We've been together for about 1.5 years, but we were best friends before we became a couple. We shared a flat and generally were really close (which obviously enraged people we've been seeing ha), but it was absolutely platonic up until last Christmas when we both realised we were in love with each other.
This is the best relationship I ever had.. for the 1st time I can be myself, I don't want to 'leg it' (i've always had troubles maintaining a relationship and staying faithful), we never argue, we feel safe and secure.. He is my family. I can easily see myself getting old with him.. and for the 1st time I though about having a baby (i'm not particularly broody). I lost my brother a year ago.. and I can't imagine how would I deal with it if J. wasn't with me.
I'm bipolar, suffer from anxiety and a bunch of phobias.. he made my life better! I have not had a full blown manic episode in 2 years (I don't take mood stabilizers, they kill my emotions). I do get an odd period of hypomania now and then, but to be honest, I quite enjoy it. Have not been 'at the bottom' for any prolonged period of time either. And now the possibility of losing him is so scary that I don't even want to think about it.
yesterday I had my 1st meltdown in ages triggered by a possibility of us splitting up. That just scared the living **** out of me! I love him, truly love him! Maybe there's no passion, but it never was! We used to have fantastic sex, but then it went to once a week, then to once a month.. he was studying full-time and working every weekend, I was working shifts (which was horrible).. So, every evening we would just get stoned and watch some crap cause we were so tired. Then initiating sex became really weird cause we would be scared of rejection (due to tiredness or general feeling of 'meh').. Last couple of times we tried it just felt wrong. We talked and talked about 'doing something', but were just ending up stoned on the couch every evening saying that we'll do something tomorrow. In my head I would blame him for not doing anything, but what did I do? Nothing. I know that we spend too much time together, we don't make any effort apart from talking about making effort.. But we have a wonderful relationship (despite losing sexual attraction).. we have 4 animals and a lovely flat..

I know that losing him can destroy me. I'm not particularly fond of life (even though I have everything), but he makes me feel that it's going to be ok because I'm not alone. I don't want to lose my true love..