Oh VJ, you are definitly not a bad mom!
I had hoped things were improving between you and your daughter, sorry to hear that you're hurting so badly

I'm sure its got plenty to do with her age, and I agree with DH, once she knows what its like to live on her own or with strangers, she'll realize how good she had it at home and understand the lessons you tried to pass on to her... I'm sure things will improve once she's in her own living space.

Please don't feel bad, when you push a button, you expect the machine to react. Our buttons are the same, there's only so many times we can ignore the "command" before we react, and those times are usually the most volatile of reactions because the "button pusher" does not acknowledge/know that its the very same button they've been pushing this whole time, and then our reactions seem out of proportion to them...

Please do something to distract yourself, remove yourself from the situation and gather your thoughts and feelings. Sooth VJ for me please my friend, I'm too far to do it myself

You're a great mom, a wonderful friend and an incredible woman, don't doubt that

ps. Really glad to hear from you