I don't know - it seems presumptuous to know the "more accurate" interpretation of what her T meant. I think this is certainly a plausible interpretation. It sounds like Peaches' interpretation was off, given her T's response. But since her T didn't actually state her perception, it seems best to go to the source. And perhaps I'm more biased than most right now - I see this as a reasonable interpretation, IF the T's feelings are not playing a role in her response. I don't think it's always a given that T's are perfectly rational, reasonable beings.

I wonder, Peaches, if there's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy happening for you. You expect your T to abandon you (as you have experienced in other relationships), perhaps leading her in part to suggesting another T who might be better versed in working with individuals with abandonment issues.

When I read the title of your thread, I also wonder what it is that you envision "expressing emotions" working toward? If it was "working," what would be happening? What would be different?

I tend to be sensitive to rejection too. And I know that there are times when my emotion brain hijacks my rational brain and sets off warning bells that rejection is about to happen. When those bells go off, I'm more focused on putting out the fire than to determine its cause. But, sometimes, there isn't actually a fire, and I've dumped all of my resources into taking care of something that doesn't exist.

What I'm trying to say is that I don't think it's necessarily your T's job to avoid doing/saying things that will trigger abandonment fears. That would be like her trying to help you put out those non-existent fires (or prevent them in the first place, I guess). But it seems it would be useful for her to help you to learn that where there is smoke, there's not always fire.

(Probably I should skip the metaphors. It's hard for me to make them completely coherent!)