Wishing u all the best asap. My last episode of depression lasted 8 months and I got out of the hospital May 9th. I really didn't have a support system in place at the time and what I did have I didn't want to burden them so I ended up in the hospital and felt so ashamed for my weakness. What I wanted MOST was to know that I was not ALONE. I felt so much comfort there knowing that I wasn't a total loser and didn't deserve to feel the way I did. They were excellent with reassurance and the ppl I met there were super to. If posting here helps in any way then do it. You are not alone my friend. You are not alone.