I'm male, 53 or so, yet I suppose I still behave like (or believe what is more like) 25 in my mind. Perhaps I haven't especially evolved, or grown up, in ways that are common to more normal people.

Growing up I wasn't allowed to be afraid, I was taught I should instead 'revere' those who were worth consideration; yet I still wonder sometimes what I would be insecure about, if I were allowed to (give in) to that occasional tempation or the sensibility of 'admitting' such a thing is a very real possibility, despite all the indoctrination. [Sounds wordy, I'll admit, but it still reads... I hope]

I also feel (anxious) for what, internally, my own thot process tells me I 'should' be doing, or pursuing as an achievement, when I am (out of the context) of the physical surroundings that support my own selfish progress forward -- have I errantly left them behind?

For some strange reason, I cannot seem to (bend) to the likes or dislikes of other people/places/things, or their needs, without (occasionally) feeling as though I come under my 'own' recrimination, for nothing more than dismissing my own (jealous commonplace opportunities).

I sense disorientation, I get sensations of being misapplied and even misinterpreted at the level I am accustomed to 'expecting' from my self -- {I 'guess' that's what agoraphobia reminds me of, a sense of dislocation}. I even experience all the signs of (depression) that are common to people who are allowed to openly 'admit' such things are imminent and emanant; Needless to say, at times I 'feel' just a little (begrudged)... as a sort of coy d-mech to 'shift' the pressure off.

There's a great deal more 'to it', I suppose, but rather than stray too far with my own personal impressions, I think I'd rather read some more responses from others willing to share their diversities. Thanks for listening.