hankster has some very wise words here. Anytime we keep having the same negative reactions to our therapy or therapists, we need to explore what is keeping us locked into that same pattern, over and over. You identify this as "dependency" on your therapist and "wish" that you could reduce it. It's not just going to magically happen, I think you have to work on it.

Sometimes what helps me understand my stuckness in an unhealthy pattern is asking the question, how do I benefit from this? Most of us are pretty rational beings at least some of the time. Even depression and anxiety "symptoms" can work for us depending on what's going on in our lives.

But for you, it seems to me that you benefit from feeling dependent because you get "tended to" because of your little girl lost feelings-- he emails you when he's away, he engages in preparations with you (including recording sessions) that you can use while he's gone. A lot of energy gets spent on your dependency feelings, and if you reduce or no longer have them, you have much to lose.

It's not unlike something I realized earlier this year when my child wasn't feeling well. He could have gone to school, he didn't have a fever, but I could tell he was under the weather. I kept him home-- my husband was out of town, so it required me to cancel my plans. He got homemade chicken soup and a lot of attention from me. As it should be. But I wanted to make sure that he also benefited from my attention and food and concern when he wasn't feeling ill, so I ramped up the attentiveness in the days following his being ill. (I've now returned to my low level neglect, not to worry

My point is that sometimes we engage in unhealthy behaviors because we are rewarded with care and concern for doing so. Classic example, the person who feels suicidal and expresses those feelings. Other people, including T's, jump to attention, express concern, offer extra care. It is NOT the same thing as manipulating people, I'm not trying to say that. I think both the person doing the unhealthy thing and people's responses to it are largely unconscious. With my kid, I had to consciously look at what I was doing when he was sick and make sure that I did that when he wasn't, too.