Well... there are lots of reasons...the first one is that I never said goodbye. I just disappeared.. I do that in relationships with other people and its something I promised myself I would not repeat so I feel like even if this meeting is all I do it is something I need to do...

I was talking with current T about something I realized I have done in past... with other people and with xT and she specifically asked if I felt I could go back to xT and it would be better...so I just wanted to see if I felt it would be...

I miss him so much too.