It's all resolved, it seems. But I agree with you as POA she had a responsibility to inform the family. By not showing up, though, you kind of let them down - they now had to handle the decision. But it's not the hugest thing, either. It's not like you left one other person to make the decision - sounds like there were several and you would have just been there to agree and show support for everyone. Anyway, all good now and you aren't shut out from the niece's life either.