Thanks, RTS, for trying to help me put this in perspective.

This has happened several times over the years...and only twice it has happened to such an intense degree.

I don't believe that it's about T not wanting women to feel empowered in their lives - just not with him, if that makes sense. She shared with me one of her own experiences with him on a business level that matched my experience entirely on a process level.

As far as group T goes, she didn't encourage me one way or another. She said that there is a fine line between retraumatizing and getting over a hurdle, and it's ok for me to say that I've had enough. It may be time to go another route because this one isn't working for me.

But if I'm isolating myself and value some of the close relationships in group and are lacking that in real life - then take advantage of that aspect of group. I have the power to decide if I want to work with a particular person or on a particular issue (trauma). She even said that I could sit there and pick my nose if I wanted to. LOL. And if people are unhappy with that, then that's their stuff - and they can work on that. I just need to be able to handle them working on their stuff in my presence or as a result of me being there in whatever state I'm in.

I told her that it's hard for me to see my T being supportive of someone else lashing out at me, because that's the healthy thing for them to be doing in their stage of work - leaving me feeling abandoned. She understood that.

Oh, so much to process....