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Who I am today is a result of my past experiences. I've had a lot of hurts.

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I also have low self-esteem. I am not assertive...I also have sleeping problems.......

Yes, it is very clear why it can be helpful to look into our past and link our "today" behaviors" to our growing up... If someone screams or is threatening, I cower like a child. retreating into defeat . This could very well be related to childhood........ I really do understand now, the importance of learning about our past.......... BUT I also think there is a time to do this.. I think one should be "stable" and not in crisis or overwhelmed by panic attacks and fear consuming one's life and not understanding what the fear is???? I think those things should be "stabilized" before one digsssss into one's past... Although at the time I had no idea child abuse or molestation was part of my childhood.... In other words, my plate was already overflowing, and adding the past issues to what was "current" issues only tipped over the plate and everything scattered about..

In other words, I was in a very controlling, abusive, and threatening marriage. I needed to regain or find the "me" before the marriage. Because who I had become was a total mess........

Thinks I am getting tired.. I may not be making sense now.. Will read this tomorrow.. Hope I didn't ramble...

((((((( Jennie ))))))))

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