Ok so most of you non-gamers won't get my title. In gaming it means you've leveled up and you have new skills, and are able to move further into the higher levels of the game.

Well I found that appropriate this morning as I've realized I've come to a new level in my life and it's a whole new phase.

The other night I talked to a friend. One that I had been romantically attracted to for quite awhile. Then things went south with her and we hadn't spoken for a good while. She happened to connect with me the other night and we talked for a bit. Thing is, with talking to her again I realized a few things. I had been missing her a lot lately but I realize now that I was basing that on the fantasy-like memories I had of our relationship. it was never very healthy and I was very needy at the time. Feeling like I needed a lady to be attached to, needed companionship (romantically) and all.. I was obsessed with this one too. As usual that's how I've been in the past with women. Well as we talked I just knew that what was there wasn't based on healthy feelings or needs but insecurity, neediness and obsession and having been out of touch all this time I've been able to move on and detach, so to speak. I'm still friends with her, I still have a fondness for her but not overly so. I'm glad I got to talk to her.

over this past nearly year and a half, I have been through a lot. This has been the first time I've had to do everything alone, without a wife, SO or anyone. It's been me and my boys getting by without anyone directly in my life. I've had help, mind you, please understand I've had friends that have helped me a lot, and I dont' mean to minimize that. I just mean in the sense of having someone IN my life like a lover, gf, and such. Since I was married the first time, I've pretty much been attached to someone for the past 23 some odd years, married most of that time. pretty much straight out of my parents' house, I was married and have not been on my own but in short periods before that. I am now at a point of being content with my singlehood. I do not "need" anyone to be there in my life 24x7 or be married or attached anymore.

I told my good friend about the event with my friend and he said that it's interesting and shows how much I've grown.

Thing is I hadn't realized all that until he mentioned that.

While I still struggle, I don't do everything right, in spite of that, I am surviving, I am getting along and moving forward slowly. I realized today - more than ever, I know I can do this on my own.

So in essence, I've "dinged" and reached a new level in the game of life.

Thanks for listening.