1100 at 11:06am: I'm on my 5th cup, ice tea. Had an easy 4 push BM. I try to keep track of liquid intake, bowel output, bran intake, trying to keep myself healthy. I'm going downhill, having a failing heart that pushes out an abnormally low amount of blood. Breathing fully and deeply makes up for that a bit.

I went out to watch Tiana and her guest Brendan splashing in the $20,000 plastic, above ground swimming pool Potter finished installing while he was here for 5 days. He left shortly ago for his next 2 weeks on his job in Texas. I walked once around the pool, giving it a wide berth to avoid splashes, and sat down far enough away. Tiana is 13, and I enjoy watching her, watching her develop, learn and grow. 1101, 1102, 1103

12:17pm: Have been counting breaths only erratically since my last post. Have been aware of many more than I counted. But, one reason I am posting here is I know about psychiatric illness from both sides of the desk. I was retired from the Veterans Administration as a clinical psychologist on July 18, 1980. I treated a lot of veterans.

I was hospitalized for "schizophrenia" for about 7 days in 1971. I was hospitalized again for about the same length of time in 1980. During this one, I discussed my diagnosis with my psychiatrist, but have forgotten what we agreed on. Neither he nor I took the idea of diagnoses being very useful in treatment seriously. I am hoping that discussing my experiences on both sides of the fence here might be helpful to both patients and other professionals who post here.

I am not very optimistic it will be. My experience with both psychiatric professionals and patients is that they both have big problems with listening and using what they hear. Patients are much worse at it, of course, but professionals have their difficulties in hearing as well. I feel sure many patients know that very well. Feel free to say so here, any readers that are patients.