Do the members want you to attend tonight and stay on after tonight? I think the answer is yes; it would be kind of cruel for them to ask you for one night only.

With that "winning" in mind, I think it's about boundaries with this t, or anyone else in life. It's our responsibility to tell other people no, we don't like that, we won't do that. We can't just declare them bad for asking. Wow - that's how my mother controlled me. But I would bet a lot of girls were controlled like that. I know we're from different generations and backgrounds, but still. I think women shortchange men when we say, "if you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you." Not that you're necessarily saying that. I've had uncomfortable fights with my t too, we were not always lovey-dovey! I regret acting like a douche and not being able to handle my feelings and dropping out of my dbt group abruptly, so if you can go back, I would if I were you. If there is more good than bad. Mine might have been getting to more bad than good.