I know that you have a psychiatrist, but do you have a therapist? They are probably right that antidepressants won't fix your anger and despair. Antidepressants are never the complete answer - they don't fix anything. They just help you to feel less bad and be more receptive to help. What might help would be talking through that anger and despair with someone who is trained to help you to work on it.

When you can't communicate to the professionals orally what is really going on with you, and you need them to read something you have written about it, you might get better results if you explain to them clearly that you don't have the ability to speak these things out loud, and then make sure that what you ask them to read is as short and specific as possible. As you know, these people are overworked and they don't have the time that we all wish they did for each patient. If you give them a lot to read, chances are they will decide that they just don't have enough time, unfortunately.

I am thoroughly disappointed that they wouldn't let you go to the intensive psychotherapy program. What did your advocate say about that? I can't see any reason why a hospital would not be able to make reasonable accomodation for you to participate in that, and it is not right for them to keep you from getting the same mental health care anybody else would because you also have physical disabilities. That is not right!

There are people who care about you. You have us here, as well as Doug and Father Lindsay. These people have been trying to help you the best way they know how. I hope that you will continue to talk to them and go to them for support.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

<font color=orange>"Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."</font color=orange>