Went in Friday and got out today. Needed a medication adjustment due to psychosis and mixed state. I also felt like I was going to internally combust or fragment into a million pieces. I have been feeling the earth rise up and down under my feet and seeing blue ripples in the sky.

I was triggered by an email my Mom sent. Not to get into all of it...but I have lost my Mother, and not to death. She is very abusive to me and I am detaching and accepting this relationship but it hit me hard on Friday. Reality set in and I was grieving.

I stayed in the temporary psychiatric unit as no beds were available for women in the regular unit. I tried to leave several times because I didn't want to be there. But I waited for the Pdoc at the strong suggestion from the nurses. He upped my meds and I feel great now. Even a little hypo. Imagine that! I haven't been hypo since my last manic episode in Feb of this year.

So I was only there three days and I began to accept that I was there for a reason and just to be patient and rest. To let go and accept my Mother was the topic of conversation with my therapist who was at the hospital one day I was there.

I hope I don't have to go back to the psyche ward again. This is 7 hospitalizations. I think my meds are finally straightened out and yes they upped my Lamictal and Geodon. I was worried about liver damage as I'm on 300 Lamictal and 180 geodon. My therapist told me to take an herbal supplement called milk thistle which detoxifies the liver but she said only if I was worried about it.

Sorry to go on so long but I have a lot of energy and I missed you guys while I was gone!