On a more practical note: since you do have that petty, litigious streak in you, maybe you can shift focus away from the mother of your children onto somebody with whom you have more formal relationships. Say, evaluate any contract you have ever signed, evaluate whether the other party to contracts was fully disclosing, take it up with them if they were not fully disclosing, etc. In other words, redirect the energy into a different channel.

Finally, you need to realize that by judging your wife (this thread) and asking her to open up (the other thread), you are placing diverging expectations on her, so it would be difficult - no, NOT difficult, but IMPOSSIBLE for her to meet them at the same time. Just think it through carefully and you will see it for what it is.

Back to threesomes mentioned in media. Kate Perry sings of kissing a girl, so, a checkmark for same sex attraction, but where do you see ubiquitous mentions of threesomes? Maybe if you can list a few sources, we can double check and give you feedback on your degree of touch with reality.