Why can't I just be normal? Why do I have to be crazy? I have more problems than most people can handle. I can't keep friends for more than a minute. It's so hard! I just moved here a month and a half ago. I'm having SUCH a hard time making friends. Everyone who I try to be friends with leaves me after they get to know me. They all say "I'm not going anywhere" and then they leave. And when I sit here home alone I think about how much I hate myself and it just leads to self harm. Then there's this one guy who is trying to be my friend, but why let him in when he's just gonna leave? Why let anyone in? Then I feel lonely, because I have no one. No one sees things the way I see them. I just have these stupid episodes and no one stays passed them. Then when I look back at what I did I feel SO stupid! Who does that!? Who acts like that!? It's like it's not even me. And I'm fighting SO hard to get better, but It's so overwhelming I just want to give up. I feel like there is no where I belong. Why do I have to have these stupid disorders!? I want friends...I'm craving it right now, I'm so lonely T.T