Thanks, RTS.
The only truth that I saw was that it was unfair to the group to leave them dangling - I even admitted that to the group, apologizing because it was unfair to them - but that I was so sure of my decision and am now floundering and don't want to make a wrong decision. It wasn't an intentional thing at all.
The thing that's so hard to deal with right now is that T is accusing me of X, Y and Z - and said that I should have discussed it with him first. I told him that I didn't feel that he was approachable because of the way he's been acting towards me.
It's a catch 22, really. He accuses me. I defend myself. I tell him how he's been acting coldly towards me. He tells me it's my perception. Everything bounces off of him and the finger is always pointed back at me.
Even xgrpcoT is horrified by it and because she works with him and knows how he is, she is upset that he is behaving in a way that is harmful to me.
Yet, here I am, still not wanting to let the group down. Still not wanting to make a bad decision. And feeling absolutely horrible about attending group with a new member there and T there and knowing that I will get backlash from some members....and feeling horrible about the idea of not going and giving up something that may be valuable to me.
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
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