(((honeybee777))) - my deepest sympathy and condolences to you and your extended family. I relate to your loss, because I lost my older brother to suicide 5 yrs ago. All grief is different and your loss is a parent, but we share the grief from a suicide. Suicide grief has additional pain that other deaths don't. You'll go through a myriad of emotions like shock, anger, confusion, doubt, denial and so many others.

Since you're also handling his funeral arrangements, you also have more stress, so try to delegate and ask for help. Regarding your brother in jail, have someone close tell him and forewarn the prison so they'll get him some help . Whether to tell your kids, is up to you and how old they are. I decided not to hide my brothers suicide, which is common for families to do. I believe there's more suicide because of secrecy and shame, so I told them and used it as a learning tool.

I went through the grief and had quite a bit of anger, which is normal...also you'll have many questions and some didn't have answers. We naturally try to rationalize "why and ifs", but this can prove frustrating because we can't make sense of an irrational act. Suicide can leave a lasting shame and a burden on loved ones. I decided I wasn't going to let what my brother did, ruin my life. I had a visual in my mind.....like someone handing me a cement block, which represents the burden. I've reached the point where I won't carry this burden, but I do use it spread the word about suicide and to help others. Naturally you won't be able to attain this for some time, until the grief starts to lift. My prayers go out to you and your family.