Can I whine?

Let's recap my week:

Thursday: Sent T a "Hey, I noticed this crazy thing about myself" email. He responded with a funny comment. Happy times.

Friday: Woke up in a panic at 4 AM, wrote an insane amount of emotional rambling, reactions to a recent news case, CSA bits and pieces, totally personal horrifying stuff. Emailed it to T before I had a chance to change my mind. Still have yet to re-read the thing and don't remember a whole lot of it.

15 minutes later on Friday: Emailed a panicked explanation, because I felt he could possibly misinterpret one tiny point of my ramble and decide I was a pedophile. (Uh, no, he wouldn't. He knows better. He knows me. But THANKS ANXIETY -- I love to look like a LUNATIC.)

No email response from T. However, the stuff I sent was WAY out of the scope of an appropriate email conversation & I had indicated that to him in both emails. (I am allowed to email emotional stuff because I shut off in session, so he likes to see my writing for us to discuss.)

I am due to see T in 47 minutes. I want to barf. The emails seem SO SO SO SO SO STUPID and gross and like attention-whoring childish lies now.

Should be a really fun time. I'll try not to die of embarassment so that I can report back on how it went.