Your dad has seemed to have discovered the perfect coping skills to live harmoniously with your mom. Any chance you you figure out how he does it--even discuss it with him? Do you think you mom may be bipolar?

What other child are options do you have, other that your parents?

Granted, you were justified in yelling at your mom--but yelling at her upsets you & affects her like the proverbial water off a duck's back. She's so convinced she's right about everything that your behavior simply confirms your mom's sense of superiority over you. Maybe accepting her poor care of your daughter as all you expect of her, ignoring the "triggers" she presents, will over time take away any positive feedback your yelling gives her (if it gives her any).

Just a thought.