I don't know my official diagnosis because Im too afraid to ask my T, but I went to therapy initially because of depression/anxiety and mainly because I was really scared about my ruminations and si...For me, depression feels like a heavy weight that is on top of me and there is absolutely no way to lift it. It's a part of me now and I just have to suffer. There's no way out - whichever way I go, all is lost. It doesn't even matter anymore what I do, I'm worthless. I'm nothing. In fact, I'm hurtful to others with how bad I am so I might as well give up completely. My body hurts, my heart is broken and literally feels in pain at times, I'm sinking deeper and deeper but it's like no one understands me. The words won't come out to explain because I don't even know how to get them out. It takes too much energy to even talk so I don't. Yet, there's this restless feeling too at times that makes me uncomfortable - like I want to crawl out of my skin. Only there's nothing I can do to fix it because of the heavy weight. It's torture.