Quote:
Originally Posted by karebear1
Did T say in what way you were being harmful, critical, judgmental etc.? (Quite the list of adjectives he concocted there!)
I just don't think I could look him in the eye either Mue and I think I probably would've shut down if I were you. You were very brave. My T has shut me down a time or two, but she always comes around, apologizes and sees her part in what the problem was so we've been able to repair what harm has been done.
Sounds like your T values "his" group over you. That would tick me off big time.
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Yes, he used those words exactly. He said that because of how I was being critical, dismissive and judgmental towards him, he stopped being willing to try hard for me. And that he needed to protect the group because I was intending to be harmful to the group. All because I was trying to address his behavior towards me.
He once told me that when someone is open and willing to learn about themselves, they will take in feedback no matter how poorly it's delivered. Yet, apparently, that only applies to other people - not him. He turns it into a character assassination, falls off the deep end, and then denies every word that I relay back to him in our next session and tells me that was my "perception" and not what he actually said. Or, he says that I hear it in a certain way because of "my past history". Never does he take ownership for his behavior. Never.
And the xgrpcoT that I talked to who works with him every day said she has had the same experiences with him personally AND has heard many others approach her with the very same issue. All women who are trying to be assertive.