OMG....xgrpcoT had a thought and ran it by me. She said that since my earliest trauma was when I was at a very young age and I might have been less verbal because of communicating with my parents in sign, maybe that would explain feeling unable to speak when I'm triggered or feeling unsafe. And maybe I could consider looking into signing during those times, or seeking Ts that use ASL.

I never thought of that, but it does make total sense. It makes me feel really sad though that my T just calls it unwillingness when it could be a real, viable issue.