Thanks Clara for your helpful comments, I just read your reply.

Jean, will you keep us posted how you are feeling during the weekend if you have a computer?

I just wanted to say it's courageous of you to go and do this thing you really don't want to do. And it is being kind to others, fulfilling their wish. Of course I wish you didn't have to be under pressure to go, or go at all. But it's nice of you.

This year I've had to do plenty of things I don't want to or dread doing because I rarely want to do anything or engage with anyone. I might develop a lot of anxiety around it, and also not enjoy myself one bit while I'm there, or feel the better from going and going and doing. So I understand a bit where you're coming from.

Also I've been thinking many times recently that - other people just can't understand. I really am wishing it weren't that way. Like I'm hearing from many people on PC that like myself they don't talk much, openly, to other people. People here understand. I think most humans just are having this tendency without even noticing it's a tendency! To be locked up in our own view and perception, and not even realizing that everyone else is suffering or reaching out to find out honestly how it is for another person. Yes, it's a lack of care and certainly can feel that way, but I've also been thinking that maybe that lack of care is coming from straight up ignorance - not even knowing that we have blinders on in our views and perceptions.

I'm not sure if my writing makes sense - I'm tired and don't express myself as clearly when tired.

Sending hugs

Gracez